I Wore My Trousers Rolled

Writing on the walls of the Temple send final messages to those that are remembered.

Writing on the walls of the Temple send final messages to those that are remembered.

One afternoon I took a picture of us to the temple. It was the picture from that party we had, back in Mount Martha. The picture is blurry. We are blurry. I think I’m holding a drink, but it’s hard to tell. You are standing, your arms pinned back, looking like you have something to say. I’m not really sure.

I stuck it to the temple and wrote on it that line from J. Alfred Prufrock that you love. I changed the words a bit. I hope you don’t mind. The words I chose were a bit more fitting.

I wore my trousers rolled.

People had written to Robin Williams. ‘Genie, you are free’ one said. That one resonated. Of course, I didn’t really know the guy, but I guess it just reminded me of you.

The playa dust kicked up, so I wrapped my headscarf around my face and put on my goggles, which steamed up from each breath. I wandered around the temple, peering close to the pieces of people’s lives, to the intimacy that they had shared, to what had been lost, until the dust and emotion made it too difficult, so I left.

I walked over the wooden planks, and hunted for my bike in the reverent haze. Through the search I couldn’t shake the feeling that what I had done here had wronged you, that I had committed some error of judgement, exposed something that you wanted hidden. If I did, then I apologise, but this loss is mine to grieve, not yours.

In the end, I think, I really just wanted you there, wanted you here, with me, with both of us, for our first burn. And as I rode back to camp, the gears on my bike choked up, and I couldn’t cycle anymore.


by Marty

About the author: Tales From the Playa

Tales From the Playa

Tales From the Playa are dreams and memories of events that took place at Burning Man, as told by participants. Submit your story here.

5 Comments on “I Wore My Trousers Rolled

  • burningjim says:

    Poignant. Emotionally engaging, and to my mind the kind of telling that seems to occur frequently among first time burners. I know my first contained an experience that felt to me alot like what I read here. Man I’d like to feel that moment again…

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  • Dylan says:

    The context of the story leaves just enough detail out to make me ask questions. A loved one, lost? Once future plans that never took hold? Is the “you” metaphorical? Regardless, a great read, the emotion is true.

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  • anon says:

    he was there with you. or at least in you.

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  • Dusty Fucker says:

    “The context of the story leaves just enough detail out to make me ask questions”

    Don’ t you just love it when you motivate people to ask questions?

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