Fears of a First-Timer

In several days, I will make the trek alone to Burning Man. It will be my first time at the event. Although I have been considering going for several days/months/years now, I only yesterday made the decision to do it. And the Man burns in 5 days.

The timing of this event is unusual, both personally, and for all participants. Most know that Wednesday, three days before the burn, Mars will be the closest to the Earth it has been in 60,000 years. Fewer know that Mars is also retrograde at this time. And even fewer may be aware (or understand) that Mercury goes retrograde Thursday, August 28. Not a good time for travel, or being unprotected by the comforts of home. I will be driving, alone, from Sacramento on Friday. Jumping into a great big frying pan of Unknown!

Personally, it is a highly appropriate time to make this journey. I have spent the past five weeks participating in a Kundalini Yoga teacher training class. 48 days of 4:00am-6:30am yoga (every morning!), along with evening and weekend classes. Diet consists only of raw foods the entire duration of the class. We are focusing on cleaning out the liver and bringing pure energy into the heart. Friday morning, after the final class and graduation ceremony, I hit the road to BM. Try out in public, my newfangled mind-body-soul.

Also, by amazing coincidence, a house I am selling will close escrow that same Friday morning. This is a significant event in my life, in that it will be the first time in my 35 years that I will have attained some kind of financial security. After a lifetime below the poverty level, the sale of this house, combined with the fruits of many years hard labor, will enable a comfortable life, free from overwhelming concern over money. This event deserves a celebration!

But… even with all this, there is still fear. What if something goes wrong? What if my car breaks down? What if the weather is too intense? What if…?

I did a tarot reading this morning. I asked, “Should I go to Burning Man?” The future showed the Knight of Wands. A man on horseback, going places. According to Crowley, this card represents “the fiery part of fire.” I guess that clinches it.

So, I’ll swallow my puny fears and come play with you all! I will come to the desert and let it all hang out… I will do my best to dress to impress and entertain with my meager talents… I will follow all the rules, and respect and assist all… but I will also indulge in the freedom from civilization… see what wonders await… open the chakras… as the man burns away any lingering impurities, doubts, fears and beliefs which stand in my way!


by Kurt Foy Booker, The Magician

About the author: Tales From the Playa

Tales From the Playa

Tales From the Playa are dreams and memories of events that took place at Burning Man, as told by participants. Submit your story here.